They tell me I’m supposed to be feeling lighter by now, with all the junk and extra possessions gone. I’m supposed to be feeling new clarity, openness to new ideas, resurgent energy. And there are a few things I was glad to see the last of. Clean is good.
But mostly I feel naked and deprived and cold. The rooms feel bare and unwelcoming. My mind is as blank as the walls. I feel like I’m camped out in an empty building. I feel like all my supports have been pulled out from under me and I’m about to crumble into a heap of rubble.
I reach for Zenlike serenity, but I’m not finding it.